Living By the Rules
by colorguard28
Summary: Borderland tag. Once the team takes down the Reynosa cartel, Abby and Tony both follow up on comments from Tim about his feelings for them. Now he has to choose a path that is true to the rules and himself. Discussion of McNozzo, McAbby.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Thanks to Kyrie, Lookithaslegs and Choosing_sarah for betaing this one. If you saw it posted on my LJ a few weeks back, this is a much different version. :)_

_Since this is very rules-based, here's a cheat sheet of the ones referred to in the story for those who don't know them all by number. Trying to work them into the flow of the story wasn't working because they have to know all the rules by number. :)_

_1: Never screw over your partner_

_6: Never apologize; it's a sign of weakness_

_9: Never go anywhere without a knife_

_10: Never get personally involved in a case_

_12: Never date a co-worker_

_13: Never, ever involve lawyers_

_15: Always work as a team_

_27: Two ways to follow: First way they never notice you. Second way, they always notice you_

**

* * *

Chapter 1**

Gibbs stood outside MTAC leaning on the rail and watching the bullpen below. It had been a long several weeks trying to take down the Reynosa cartel, and this was the first day the whole team was back in the squad room. Nobody had been seriously hurt, but everybody was banged up, so Vance had taken them off rotation to finish up the piles of paperwork the case had generated.

He sipped his coffee, then shifted more weight onto his arms to take it off his knee. He hadn't decided if he was glad the bad one had taken the brunt of the bruising or not. Which was worse, one screamingly painful knee or two aching ones? He watched as Ziva headed out to get coffee for the boys and tea for herself. Knowing Ziva, she would bring him back another cup as well.

Tony started throwing paper balls at McGee, and Gibbs just rolled his eyes. It was like watching two dogs. Tony, despite being almost a decade older than the other man, was like a Lab puppy running around saying "Look at me! Love me! Give me attention!", and McGee was the older, quieter dog that just put up with it until the puppy got too annoying.

It didn't take long today, and soon the boys had an all-out paper war going. Tony ran out, and the supplies were in the file cabinet next to McGee's desk. Gibbs smirked, wondering how DiNozzo was going to pull off this one. When he tried to get more paper by speed, McGee caught him in a headlock. Gibbs bit back a laugh. He knew McGee had wrestled in high school, and the young agent was in much better shape than when he first started on the team. Tony did more weight-lifting, but he was at a positional disadvantage. McGee used it to back him against the file cabinet.

Gibbs wasn't sure exactly what happened next, but Tony stopped fighting and dropped to the ground. McGee let him go, and Tony scrambled to his desk. He turned away from McGee and buried his head in a file, the picture of a dutiful field agent. McGee followed him over and leaned against his desk. Gibbs could hear him apologizing to Tony, but also asking what was wrong. Gibbs wondered that too.

After a minute, Tony seemed to realize McGee wasn't going away. He whipped around and stalked off to the elevator. McGee followed. Gibbs was pretty sure one of them would flip the emergency switch as soon as the elevator started moving.

He decided it was time to head to the bullpen so he could referee if needed. By the time the elevator doors opened, Gibbs was sitting at his desk working on his report. Tony got off first, and Gibbs caught a glimpse of a hurt look before DiNozzo could paste on a smile and start in on McGee.

"I'm telling you, McWriter, there's an art to filling out these reports." Tony sat down and started in on a file. "Once you master that, they go much quicker."

"Yeah, Tony, whatever. There's an art to typing, too. You speed through the writing, I'll speed through the typing, and we'll see who gets done first." But when Tim sat down, his keyboard didn't start clattering. Gibbs wasn't sure what they had talked about in the elevator, but it definitely wasn't report-writing. And judging by the way they weren't looking at each other, they hadn't resolved whatever was going on. Gibbs decided to give them a little space.

"McGee."

"Yes, Boss?" He looked up.

"Help Abby in the lab."

"On it, Boss." When he hurried out without even asking what he was helping Abby with, Gibbs knew he'd made the right call. Tony settled down, tension leaving his body, eyes focused on the paperwork. Gibbs continued working, watching DiNozzo from the corner of his eye. The senior agent remained uncharacteristically quiet. Gibbs was about to get him talking when Ziva returned. She handed both men their coffee and set her tea on her own desk.

"Where is McGee?" she asked.

"Right here, Ziva," he said, his voice quiet. "Boss, Abby said she's set right now. She doesn't need any help." He settled back to work, but his lanky frame was tight with tension in a way it hadn't been before he went to the lab. Several minutes later, Gibbs glanced over to see McGee pinching the bridge of his nose.

When he finally sent them home that evening, Gibbs still wasn't sure what had gotten into his team. Once home, he headed to the basement to finish a couple of projects. Whatever was going on between the younger men, if it was serious, Tony would be by later.

The summer sun had finally set when Gibbs flipped the chair over and secured it in position. As he turned back to his workbench to grab the carpenter's glue, he heard hesitant footsteps on the basement stairs. He spread glue on one end of the chair rung and looked up to see not Tony, but McGee — the one team member who had never paid him a basement visit before. Tim hadn't been there since the day the FBI shut down NCIS to investigate La Grenouille's death back when Jenny was still alive.

Still, somehow he wasn't surprised. After what had happened earlier — whatever it was — McGee was obviously wrestling with something. Abby and Tony were the two team members McGee was closest to, and if both of them were tying him up in knots, that didn't leave the computer expert many options for a listening ear.

"Evening, McGee," he said.

He continued working on the chair, but catalogued the junior agent's appearance at the same time. McGee's jeans were faded and worn, not the dark designer jeans he wore to work. The T-shirt was plain gray, with frayed edges. Even if that hadn't given away its age, Gibbs would have known from how it hung on his agent's body that it was a remnant of his heavier days. His sneakers were beat-up running shoes. He looked as wrung out as his clothes. As McGee sat on the stairs, he slumped forward, resting his long arms on his knees. Just as Gibbs was getting ready to say something, McGee spoke.

"So, Boss, how did you get the boat out?"

Gibbs looked over. "Classified, McGee."

McGee smiled, but the grin faded almost immediately. But Gibbs had worked with him for long enough to know he would spit it out eventually. DiNozzo would deflect, Ziva would hide behind an impenetrable facade, and Abby would bury her worries in words, but McGee would speak once he was sure Gibbs was listening.

And so he waited.

After long minutes, McGee finally spoke.

"How did you come up with the rules, Boss?"

Gibbs paused and looked over at McGee. He wasn't sure what he had expected McGee to ask, but it wasn't that. He had thought maybe something more along the lines of how to deal with the enigma that was DiNozzo. Ducky had told Gibbs enough times that he was the expert on handling the senior field agent and his bundle of issues. But no, McGee stopped by for his first-ever basement conversation, and he was asking about the rules. Then Gibbs remembered the events leading to the takedown of the Reynosa cartel with all the secret trips and missions. It was a time when it seemed as though Vance's wink-wink, nudge-nudge style had infected his entire team, each of them handling an assignment; none of them working together as a team. Gibbs had invoked the rarely used rules in the 40s, the ones only Tony, Abby and Ducky had seen in action before. It had been a challenging time, and its effects likely would linger for months.

He tightened the clamp on the last re-glued joist and grabbed a sawhorse, placing it opposite McGee's spot on the steps.

"Shannon taught me the rules," he said. He thought back to that first meeting at the train station in Stillwater. "The day we met, she mentioned her rules, said everybody should have a code to live by." He smiled at the memory. "She wanted to make sure I wasn't a lumberjack, because she had a rule against dating lumberjacks."

McGee's eyes dropped, and his teeth started chewing on his lower lip. Gibbs waited, not certain what was running through his agent's mind.

"That's... that's nice that you still have that connection to her, Boss," McGee said, his voice quiet. He looked up, somehow reminding Gibbs of a small boy. "But I was wondering more about how you decided what deserved to become a rule. I mean, you don't have a lumberjack rule, and I don't imagine Shannon was the one who came up with Rule 27. I mean, who would she have a need to follow?"

"No, she didn't follow much of anybody," Gibbs said. "She always led the way."

"So where did the rules come from?"

Gibbs made a note of his persistence. It was quieter than DiNozzo's style, less intimidating than his own or Ziva's, but in some ways even more effective for being understated. No fireworks, just a refusal to let the conversation digress. Then again, between DiNozzo and Ducky, McGee got a lot of practice bringing conversations back on track.

"Some came from Mike. He has his own three rules, practical crime-scene stuff. Some come from experience, like Rule 9. Knife's gotten me out of more tight spots than I can count." Gibbs paused to look over at McGee. His wide green eyes were fixed on Gibbs, but his expression was neutral, so Gibbs continued. "Some are just common sense, like my Rule 1."

"Never screw over your partner. The law enforcement version of Semper Fi."

Gibbs nodded. "I suppose you could say that's a Corps rule."

"Rule 15 is another one of those, right? Always work as a team is another extension of Semper Fi."

Gibbs nodded. As McGee's brow furrowed, Gibbs opened his mouth, then closed it. He could see that McGee's computer of a brain was processing what he had said, so he sat back and waited. He only had to wait a few minutes.

"Boss, last month..." McGee's voice trailed off, and Gibbs thought back to everything that had happened: the trips to Mexico, the position Alejandro had placed Abby in by giving her that particular cold case, the parallel missions Vance had given McGee and DiNozzo to keep the Reynosas in check while Gibbs was tap-dancing his way out of couriering for them.

There were lots of things McGee could ask about, lots of places he and Tony might disagree. When they first learned of Macey's death, McGee had said they would track her killer and punish him to the full extent of the law. DiNozzo had added "or by any means necessary." Tim hadn't agreed; he remained silent. He and Tony drew that line in different places, always had. Tim would hack anything they needed, break any paper law that existed to get the information he needed to solve a case. But he always drew the line at actions that didn't involve a computer. He would break a computer lock without even asking permission, but he was also the one to remind the others of the need for proper paperwork when investigating a physical location. Gibbs didn't understand Tim's logic, but then again, he didn't understand most of what Tim did.

Gibbs dragged his wandering thoughts back to McGee. "Last month?" he prompted.

"We've been talking about the rules a lot lately," Tim said. "Last month was the first time Ziva and I even learned there were any rules in the 40s."

Gibbs nodded. "Haven't had to use those in a while. Closest we came was when Abby's lab monkey framed DiNozzo."

Tim nodded. "Rule 40: If it seems like somebody's out to get you, they are. That's pretty much the definition of what happened to Tony that time." He paused. "I'm actually wondering about some of the more common rules."

"Which ones?" Gibbs hoped whatever rules Tim brought up next would give him some clue about what had happened between his two agents earlier.

"Rule 12. Rule 15. Maybe even Rule 1." Tim said, but didn't elaborate.

Gibbs was even more confused. Rule 12 was one Tim had broken before — dating Abby early on was a violation of "never date a co-worker." But he wasn't sure how to put those together with the other two, especially involving Tony. Always act as a team and never screw over your partner were variations on a theme. Unless...

"Tony and Abby?" Gibbs never would have figured the two for a couple. They always seemed more like siblings to him.

"What!" Tim jerked upright. "How did you..."

Gibbs just raised an eyebrow. It was just as effective here as it was in interrogation. Tim's ears turned pink, but he answered.

"I swear, Boss, I didn't encourage either of them. I mean, I did say something to Abby when we were down in Mexico about noticing her looking really nice, but that was weeks ago. I didn't expect her to ask me to take her back. And I thought Tony was just messing with me last year when he made that online profile. I didn't think he was serious, or I never would have asked him why he thought it was funny to make me fall in love with him. I didn't expect him to actually tell me he was interested. I really didn't expect them to both do it today."

Only long training kept Gibbs from showing his surprise. It certainly explained a lot. He had been closer than he thought earlier today, comparing Tony to a Lab puppy looking for love and attention. A love triangle, especially one involving two agents on the same team, would affect both teamwork and partnership. Gibbs frowned, then spoke.

"What happened in the elevator?"

Tim frowned. "He admitted that he was interested in me. He said he knew I wouldn't want him because of all the pranks he's pulled, but he didn't realize I'd fallen for the online persona and he couldn't let me think it was just another prank. I didn't know what to say. I mean, he's Tony. He's always been the ultimate ladies' man. I just... I didn't say anything. I needed to think. And then you sent me down to see Abby, and she asked me out. I stalled her, told her I needed to think about it. And that's all I've been doing is thinking about it, trying to figure out what I want, and if I can get it without screwing things up with the team. I don't... Tony hurts. He doesn't let it show, but stuff cuts him pretty deep. If I go back to Abby, it's going to hurt him. I don't want to screw him over. And if I pick him, Abby's going to be hurt when she finds out, and it's going to make working as a team tough. And..." He paused. "Boss, this is going to sound pathetic, but you know my track record. The least crazy person I've even considered dating since Abby and I split up was Susan, the polygraph woman. And she wasn't exactly normal. Not to mention she turned me down when I finally asked. Breaking Rule 12 seems like the only way I'm ever going to find somebody."

Gibbs decided to tackle the easiest one first.

"You and Abby? Not sure that's really a violation of Rule 12, Tim. You two were together before, and it didn't affect your work. I trust you two to get it right." He paused. "Tony's tougher to predict, especially with emotional stuff, thanks to his family, but I trust you to get it right as well if you decide to go that route. So take Rule 12 out of the equation."

"Thanks, Boss, but all that does is make the 'neither' option less likely. And that wasn't one I really wanted to consider anyway." He sighed.

"So which ones do you want to consider?" Gibbs was still trying to wrap his mind around the idea of Tim and Tony both liking guysbut saying that would not help right now.

Tim sighed. "Well, if I decide to give it another shot with Abby, I'm probably shutting the door on Tony for good. And if I give Tony a chance, I have to find a way to tell Abby I'm seeing somebody without telling her who."

"Because it's Tony, or because he's a guy?" Gibbs asked.

"Not because it's a guy. Abby knows I'm... flexible. But you know her. She's going to try and figure out who the competition is, and Tony's managed to keep that side of himself hidden from her for almost a decade."

"Fair enough." He turned the subject back. "Those your only options?"

Tim shrugged. "I thought about dating both of them at the same time and seeing how things played out, but that seems like just asking for you to remind us all about Rule 15 — tough to act like a team when there's some competition going on. Besides, I don't do casual well."

Gibbs nodded, letting the smile he'd been holding back creep across his face. "Don't do it well, myself. Wish I did — probably have fewer ex-wives." He was rewarded with a snicker from Tim. "You don't think you could tell them both about this?"

"Aside from Tony's orientation not being my secret to tell? It's taken him a year to work up the courage to say something to me — finding out he's competing with Abby, which is how he'll see it, is going to totally mess with his insecurities." Tim ran a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up. "Abby would handle it fine. But enough people have messed with Tony's mind over the years. I'm not going to try and mess it up even more. That's just cruel. Not to mention asking for it to become an issue that affects how we do our jobs, and I don't want that. Isn't that why you have Rule 12?"

"I made Rule 12 when I was still a probie," he said, thinking back. "One of the agents on another team started dating the ME's assistant. This was before Ducky's time. It was fine at first, but soon we all learned to steer clear of either of them if they were having a fight. Especially if they actually were fighting in the office. It was... uncomfortable."

"Oh. I thought..." Tim trailed off, the tips of his ears turning pink.

Gibbs smirked. "I had the rule long before Paris." He turned serious again, realizing he was admitting something the team had only speculated on before. "Paris was just where I convinced myself it was OK to break it. And Jenny and I did a better job at keeping work and personal separate while we were together." He sighed. "Our problem was that we never could quite find a balance afterward. We didn't work together then, but once she became director, we butted heads."

"You've done that with every director since I've been here," Tim said.

Gibbs nodded. "With Morrow and Vance, it was always professional. Jenny and I could never quite draw that line back again. We could never quite keep it all professional. The personal always snuck in." He blew out a breath, reminding himself this was worth the discomfort if it kept the team together. "I envy you, Tim. You and Abby showed me it can work, that people can draw that line while dating and afterward."

Tim nodded, his face thoughtful. Gibbs could practically hear the gears grinding, or whatever the computer version was. Tim had never answered his question. He had just outlined the effects of choosing each option.

"Which option do you want to pick? You can't worry about their reactions until you know what you want. And do you really think they would want to do anything to break up the team?"

Tim frowned. "No, they wouldn't. But it's not that simple. I'm not sure I know what I want," he said. "I mean, I know what Abby's like. I know what works between us and what trips us up. But Tony... I haven't really wrapped my mind around the idea yet. But if the whole thing's going to blow up in my face, why even take the time to think about if I'd like it to work? Better to just write it off."

"This coming from the guy who got a tat on his ass to have a first date with Abby?"

Tim rolled his eyes. "Not the same thing, Boss. I wasn't on the team then. And it's not like I would have kicked myself for getting a tat if things hadn't worked out between us."

"Not my point. You took a chance, didn't play it safe. One of the reasons I wanted you on the team. You were green, but you had guts. As long as this doesn't turn into one of those soap operas my second wife liked, I don't care what you decide. But don't make a choice because it's safe. Figure out what's going to make you happy. Respect everybody involved. It'll work out."

A long silence followed. Finally, Tim said, "Thanks, Gibbs." He stood to leave.

"Hey, Tim," Gibbs said. "Whatever you decide, good luck. Door's always open."

"Thanks, Boss," Tim said. He stood and walked upstairs. Gibbs returned to his workbench, wondering which path Tim would choose. He'd have to keep an eye on the three of them this week at work.

Gibbs considered what he'd learned. In retrospect, the clues were there. While Ziva was gone, McGee and DiNozzo had become closer. They didn't finish each others' sentences the way McGee and Abby did, but they had that same connection. He didn't know who McGee would choose, but he could understand why the man was struggling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Tim was lost in thought and drove home on autopilot. Gibbs had given him a lot to think about. What surprised him was Gibbs' willingness to let Tim bend the rules and his statement that he trusted Tim to handle it. He knew Gibbs trusted him with lots of things, even if part of that was because he didn't understand half of what Tim did. But Gibbs was protective of all his team members, especially Abby and Tony.

Tim didn't begrudge either of them for it. He knew Abby filled Gibbs' need to protect a daughter, to make up for the one he hadn't been able to protect all those years ago. And Tony needed a dad. Tim had figured that out from observing Tony and putting together the little pieces of information he would drop from time to time about his childhood. But seeing Tony's dad earlier this year, watching him in action, took it from theory to true understanding. Tim knew he and his own dad butted heads often. McGee senior was a navy officer, used to being obeyed. And Tim, as timid as he could be, had a determined streak that had let him finish school years ahead of schedule and join NCIS before he could legally drink, then onto the agency's top team working for the legendary Gibbs. But he and his dad loved each other and would be there for each other if something happened. Tony's dad never even knew he'd had the plague.

Tim locked his car door and headed to his apartment. He'd managed to stall Abby until Friday, but that only gave him two days. Tony already thought Tim had rejected him. He could ask Abby for more time, but the longer he went without answering her, the more likely it was she'd tell Tony she'd asked him back. And Tim didn't want Tony to find out that way. No matter what he decided, he knew he and Tony had to sit down and talk things out.

He had never imagined finding himself in this situation. Usually, he had a hard enough time finding one person interested in him. Having two people asking at the same time was unheard of. And having them both be co-workers he was interested in, made it borderline hinky.

He thought back to that moment in Mexico when Paloma Reynosa threatened to take Abby and he offered himself to the drug cartel in exchange for her, trading one life for another. He would do it again in a second. Abby was a part of him, had been from the moment they met. Heck, from the moment she'd asked him how his SIG was hanging during that first phone call.

Even before he joined the team, they had spent hours together in the lab working, their minds merged as surely as if there was a hardwired connection between them. That had never changed, no matter what their personal relationship had been. First dating, then exclusively dating, then friends with benefits, then just best friends. She was Abby, his Abby. He'd dated other people but always felt a little jealous when she dated other men. She was the same way. They had shifted into being just friends sometime during Ziva's first year on the team, and despite a couple of near-misses, they had kept it platonic since then.

From the beginning, he could picture them together forever. He could see them spending lazy Saturday mornings in bed, then in later years, spending Saturday afternoons at the park as they watched a sandy-haired girl in pigtails chase her little brother around the playground, their wide green eyes sparkling with mischief. They would work until late into the night at NCIS on a case, but find time to eat dinner together in the lab, tapping away at their respective keyboards as they talked about their day.

It wasn't the white-picket fence dream — Abby still wore her collars and chains and would hunt for black onesies with sarcastic slogans for their children — but it would suit them, that mix of adventure and comfort, just as they suited each other.

And even as he dreamed these visions, Tim knew that he was picturing the safe route. Abby wouldn't believe him — safe was a word she would never use to describe herself. But being with her was comfortable, familiar. Adventurous, sure. Never boring. But he knew what he would be getting into. Especially since Abby would only have suggested getting back together if she was finally ready to get serious. That's why they had backed away all those years ago. He had been ready for forever and family, and she hadn't been. They had danced around the subject ever since, as though he was waiting for her to catch up so they could get back together. For all she was closer to Tony's age than Tim, she hadn't been ready to settle down before.

Tony was the same way. He had been happily hopping from woman to woman before the fiasco with Jeanne. Since then, Tim wasn't sure exactly what was going on with Tony. That woman Vance had them bring back from Chicago last year had hinted that Tony was in the middle of a dry spell. That wasn't too long after the whole Claire debacle. He'd heard Ziva riding Tony a few times about needing a woman, finding a real relationship, but if it had happened, Tony wasn't talking about it.

He snorted. Of course, since Tony was looking to date him, he obviously wasn't looking for a woman. Tim still hadn't figured that out. Tony had never given any indication he was anything other than a 0 on the Kinsey scale — Tim refused to count the Voss case — despite all his ragging on Tim over the years. For all Tony talked about his love life, it was strictly women. Which didn't mean it didn't exist. Tony could hide more about himself than anybody he knew, despite his incessant broadcasting of his private life.

That's why Tim had been surprised by Tony's reaction when he cornered the senior field agent in the elevator earlier that day, following him in and flipping the emergency stop switch.

"_OK, Tony. Spit it out. What's bothering you?"_

"_Nothing, Probie," Tony said, a big grin splitting his face._

_But Tim had known him long enough to realize the grin was nothing more than a mask. "Not working, Tony. One minute you're trying to get my attention, the next you're running away. Something's going on, and if you don't spit it out, I'm calling in the reserves."_

_Tony's head dropped back against the elevator wall with a thunk. "Abby?"_

"_I was thinking about Ducky, but Abby works. Or would you prefer Ziva? Or maybe Gibbs?" Tim kept his tone even. Tony was too good at hiding and deflecting for him to back down._

"_No way." Tony straightened up. "It's not... It's none of their business."_

"_Then talk."_

"_I wasn't just messing with you." When Tim didn't answer, Tony continued. "Last year. With Claire. I wasn't just messing with you."_

"_And how does making me fall in love with you as a woman online count as not messing with me?" Tim knew he sounded cranky, but he really couldn't understand how Tony could try and talk his way out of that one._

"_OK, the woman part of it was messing with you," Tony said. "The rest of it wasn't. It started out that way, or at least I convinced myself it did. You wouldn't have had that kind of a conversation with 'Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.'" he said, air quoting his usual self-decreed title, complete with big grin. The senior agent dropped his fake smile and looked down to the ground. "Why would you? All he does is superglue your face to your keyboard, tease you about being gay and mess with your stuff. I didn't want to tell you it was me because I knew once I did, you wouldn't believe I liked knowing you as you, not as Probie. And after all the times I asked, hoping you were at least open to exploring, and you shot me down insisting you weren't gay and you weren't bi, I knew you wouldn't be interested in anything anyway. But I had to find out what it would be like to flirt and have you flirt back." He sighed. "And then I realized you really had fallen for me, and I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't because what exactly was I supposed to say?" He let his head fall back against the elevator wall with a thump. "So once I flip the switch, we don't ever need to speak of this again, but you have to understand. I wasn't just messing with you."_

_And before Tim could figure out what to say, Tony had turned the elevator back on, and they were headed back to the bullpen._

He'd barely had a chance to think about Tony's completely unexpected confession when Gibbs had sent him to the lab and Abby had suggested they get back together. He'd stammered out something to buy him until Friday to answer her. Fortunately, Tony hadn't expected an answer. He probably didn't even realize Tim was considering him as a potential partner.

He finally had wrapped his mind around the idea Tony was interested in him, but he still wasn't sure what to do with that information. Ever since Claire, he had started to wonder just who Tony really was. Tony should have started laughing at him by the second or third day, but he hadn't, just let the joke play out. That had always made Tim wonder just exactly what was going on. Tony obviously had more to him than the goofball frat boy he liked to play at work. That mask always had concealed a competent, intuitive investigator. With Ziva gone, they had gotten closer, and Tim liked what he saw. He'd realized Tony was much closer to Claire than he was to the Very Special Agent persona he habitually wore. And he had liked spending time with Claire. Even after he knew it was Tony, he'd let himself get lost in the illusion that Claire was a woman, not his long-time co-worker. When the McNicknames and teasing weren't there, he and Tony got along well.

Their friendship had only gotten stronger while Ziva was gone. They had taken to getting dinner at least one night a week, if they weren't stuck at the office. They would hang out at Tony's and watch movies, enjoying time together outside the office. By the time they had tracked Saleem to Somalia and volunteered for the rescue mission, they shared a brain in the field almost as much as he and Abby did in the lab. Looking back, knowing what Tony had shared with him earlier that day, he looked at their growing friendship as a relationship and was stunned to find that in that light, it was at least as strong as his earlier relationship with Abby had been. They shared different interests, than he and Abby, but movies and runs with Jethro were as much a basis for more as computer games and playtime with Jethro. Tony encouraged him to try things he never would have considered, like the time they went rock-climbing and Tony talked him through his freakout until he could handle the idea of something that involved heights. It went both ways, too. When Tim scored a ticket to a gaming convention, Tony came along and had as much fun as Tim. The only aspect missing had been the physical, and Tim wasn't worried about that. Tony was obviously attracted to him, and Tim had never been able to disagree with Tony's assessment that he was a date most people would kill for. He was attractive in his suits and fancy shoes, but somehow Tim found him just as much so all covered in desert grime, sweat and the evidence of Saleem's interrogation tactics. Now Tony admitted he was interested, and that made Tim rethink a lot of things.

But this was Tony. The only long-term relationship he'd ever had was an undercover op that almost got him killed. He didn't get kids at all, and family was a four-letter word to him. Dating Tony would be fun and definitely wouldn't count as playing it safe. They challenged each other to step outside their comfort zones too much. But Tim was ready to settle down, ready to start a family. And he couldn't see Tony wanting to do the same.

He remembered the case of the missing baby right after Tony's op blew up — literally. Tony had sat there by the fireplace, his suit soaked, looking first at Ducky examining the baby held by his healthy parents and then at the team, a bunch of single people with crazy lives. Tim could tell Tony was torn. He hadn't really been the same since he had told Jeanne the truth, and Tim had always wondered if Tony was considering what might have happened if he hadn't, if he had left NCIS and become Tony DiNardo. But Tony hadn't, even when Jeanne came back and accused him of murder. Ziva had mentioned Tony had told Jeanne it was all a lie, turned his back on Jeanne to stay with the team. Turned his back on the possibility of a family to continue fighting crime.

He frowned. Or was it turning his back on Jeanne to stay with his family? With Tony, it was impossible to tell sometimes. He was complicated, all sorts of masks and jokes built up to hide himself from people. After meeting his father earlier in the year, Tim had an idea of why. Just as Gibbs had reverted to his teenage habits when they had traveled to Stillwater almost 18 months ago, Tony regressed when his father visited. Tony's dad was a smarmier version of Tony, his charm overlaid with a veneer of ingratiating oiliness that made Tim appreciate that Tony, for all his faults, was at least sincere. Goofy, obnoxious and self-promoting, but sincere.

In some ways, that's what worried Tim. Tony sincerely didn't understand children and didn't know how to act around them. After meeting Tony's father, Tim understood why, but that didn't change the fact that Tim had always wanted to have a family some day. After helping Abby's friend out at Christmas so her nephew could see his mom on a video feed, he was even more sure of it. The awe on Fisher's face when he opened his eyes to see his mom on the MTAC screen was the best Christmas gift Tim had ever gotten.

Tim wanted that experience, wanted children who looked for Santa on Christmas Eve. He wanted to teach them how to ride a bike and help them with their homework. He knew being a special agent wasn't exactly the most family-friendly career, but he would find a way to make it work. He could always go back to Cyber-Crimes, or write full-time, or stay on the team and find a way to juggle everything.

When Abby had told him he would make a great Santa this Christmas, he hadn't been able to keep himself from thinking of a future Christmas, the two of them waiting for the kids to go to bed so he could sneak the Santa presents under the tree. He'd almost asked her to come over that night after they finished at the Navy Yard, see if she was thinking the same thing. But then Carol had mentioned they were going back to her house for Christmas Eve before midnight Mass and Tim's request died unasked.

Since then, the time had never seemed right. He'd been about to in Mexico, then he stuck his, as Abby put it once, "size 12 foot in his size 10 mouth." After that, things had been too crazy. He'd known Abby was torn over the report for the cold case, known she struggled with what to do. He had wanted to talk to her about it, but he was afraid that opening that can of worms would close down options for Gibbs and Vance. Not to mention that Vance had him running some secret missions of his own, ones he couldn't tell Abby about. Just like Vance had Tony running secret missions, including that trip to Mexico to follow Alejandro. Tim wasn't in the loop on those, but he was enough of an investigator to put the puzzle pieces together.

That was over, and while the effects still were rippling through the team, life had started to settle back into its normal craziness. At least, he'd thought it had. Today made him seriously reconsider that.

Tim knew he was going overly analytical on this one, but he opened a blank spreadsheet on his computer. There had to be a way to figure this out logically. He started listing all the things he wanted from life on one side: kids, a full life partner, adventure, etc. Then he added a column weighting each one. Finally, he added two more columns, one for Tony and one for Abby. He started entering values on a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the highest. Abby scored higher on the family and long-term partner categories, while Tony did better on things such as adventure and shared interests. Finally, he typed in the complicated formula that would add up all of those numbers, weight them and give him a result.

Tim lost himself in the math of it all. The soothing logic of numbers allowed his brain to relax and stop spinning in circles. Life might be messy, but numbers weren't.

Until he finished entering his best guesses of how relationships with Tony and Abby would stack up on all the things important to him and realized they worked out to the same result. Tim smacked the heel of his hand against his forehead. How could two people so different provide the same answer? Sure, life with Tony would be more adventurous, and life with Abby would have the quirky family life he thought they both wanted. But with that many variables, all of them weighted, to have the results come out the same? Since when had math started conspiring against him? The rules didn't help. Math didn't help. Even logic didn't help, though he had kind of expected that since logic didn't really factor into either Tony or Abby's world views.

Tim sighed as he looked at the clock: 0100 and no answers. He turned off his computer and headed to the bedroom. He was just going to have to talk to each of them tomorrow and hope he didn't give anything away as he gathered more information.


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: Thanks to Kyrie and Choosing_sarah for betaing this chapter. _

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Chapter 3**

Abby busied herself starting up all her babies as her thoughts drifted to her discussion with Tim yesterday. At first, she'd been surprised that he asked for some time before answering her, but the more she'd thought about it, the more she understood why he might not want to answer right away. As many times as they'd been together before — as much as they had shared a brain, a bed, her coffin, his dog — this was different. They had managed to split up once before, but it had hurt Timmy and hurt her some too. She could never see him with somebody else without that spike of jealousy that somebody else was with her Timmy. And he was the same with her, all pouty-big-lips and sad-eyed-puppy when she mentioned Marty or any other guy. That was one reason they had stopped sleeping together after a while — she knew he didn't generally have sex unless he was serious about a woman, and she just wasn't ready for his kind of serious before.

She couldn't imagine spending the rest of her life with anybody else, because who else got what she did and all the contradictions in her personality? Who liked computer games and science and her quirkiness without thinking the chains and leather meant she was into serious kink and only kink in bed? Not that she didn't enjoy some hinkiness, but she wasn't exactly hardcore BDSM either, clothes notwithstanding. Some days she thought her team members were the only ones who really got that about her.

Timmy loved her, leather, chains and all. He didn't mind that she worked crazy hours because his were just as crazy. He was great with kids, but wouldn't make her tone down who she was if they had them. Their kids would have the craziest wardrobe between MIT/geek T-shirts and her Goth shirts that would give their teachers fits, not to mention whatever Tony would dream up to give his godchildren and drive his honorary little sister and his Probie nuts, but it would be the perfect mix of them and their quirky, crazy team/family. She didn't know exactly when she had started thinking thoughts she'd never known she'd have, when family and kids became as important as nights out and partying at cemeteries, but they did, and they had, and when she pictured her life like that, Tim was the only one she could see in the picture with her.

And then she looked up, and he was standing there, his face tired and his short hair rumpled.

"Timmy?" she looked at her watch. "It's only 0700. Did you guys catch a case last night? You look like you haven't slept."

He handed her a Caf-Pow, sipped his own coffee and rubbed his eyes with his now-free hand. "No case. Just couldn't sleep. I figured I'd come in and see if the combination of coffee and Abby-energy could wake me up before Gibbs shows up."

Abby put her drink down and pulled him in for a hug, careful not to get his coffee between them. "Abby energy, huh? Is that something I should be bottling for you guys to keep around for all-nighters?" He snorted, and she could feel him smile against her shoulder. She loved that, even in her platforms, he still had a couple inches on her. "Do you want to lay down on my futon for a while? I can wake you before you have to be upstairs."

He shook his head, then pulled back. "No, Abs, I think I'm good. Although if we spend all day on paperwork, I might take you up on that."

"So what kept you up all night?" she asked. A thought flitted through her mind: "You could have called me, and I would have come over, used my Abby magic to put you to sleep."

He squeezed his eyes shut. "Not helping, Abs. Thinking about that particular Abby-magic is part of why I couldn't sleep."

"Really?" she said, winking at him. "Do tell."

"Not like that, Abs," he said, a faint smile crossing his face. "But why now? It's been years. What changed?"

She stood up and looped a finger through one of his front belt loops. "Come on. Let's go in my office if we're going to have this discussion." She led him in and grabbed a chair from next to the evidence table for him, then settled behind her desk.

"I think everything changed," she said, trying to figure out how to explain it. "You're all bad-ass field agent, and then you can turn around and bend the rules to give a little boy his Christmas wish. You don't stutter anymore, even when you're offering yourself to a drug cartel leader with a grudge to save my life. When Tony gives you grief, you give it right back. It's not just you, either. I still like going out and partying in a cemetery, but I'm just as happy to stay in and play video games with you and Jethro or watch movies with Tony or Ziva." She sighed and looked at Tim, sitting there straddling the chair, his arms crossed on its back, chin resting on his hands.

"Ziva and I were talking a while back, after Layla and Amira visited. Do you know, for the first time she's starting to feel like she can actually consider settling down, now that she's not subject to her father's assignments? She said when she was sitting in Bossman's living room playing with Amira, she could picture herself doing the same one day with her own children. It just — I don't know — got me thinking. I mean, not that I'm old or anything, but I'm the same age as Tony. I know you all think of me as the baby sister in our quirky little family, but I'm 10 years older than Ziva, almost that much older than you and Jimmy. I always kind of pushed it aside, figured I had all the time in the world. Because I've never been one of those people who says I'll never have kids, but like my friend Carol, Fisher's aunt? She doesn't have kids, she's just the really cool aunt they like to spend time with. And I always figured if that was the way my life worked out, I'd be fine with that because I didn't know if I could handle anything more. I mean, I go to pieces when you guys get hurt."

Tim opened his mouth to say something, but she reached over and put a finger there to keep him quiet.

"The whole time you were in Somalia, I don't think I slept because all I could think was that Ziva had gone there and gotten dead and the same thing would happen to you even though Gibbs was with you, and Bossman can stop speeding bullets with his glare. He kept you safe in LA — I told him he had to because the last time we'd sent agents to LA, not everybody came back alive, and I can't lose you guys. And then, in Mexico, you offered yourself up for me, and I was mad at you because what if she had taken you and you'd died? I know you could die any time you go out in the field, and it scares me like polyester suits scare me. And we've almost lost Tony and Gibbs, and we thought we'd lost Ziva, and it didn't hurt half as bad as thinking I could have lost you." She tried to keep her voice, even, but she could feel it wobble a little and any hope she had that he hadn't noticed disappeared when his eyes widened and he reached over to rub her shoulder.

"So I picked a fight with you because if I was mad at you, I wouldn't worry, like you picked a fight with me over the typewriter when my crazy stalker ex was after me so you wouldn't worry about how close he came to getting me then." She was rewarded with one of his smiles that always warmed her heart, the ones that were so him, so happy.

"In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best time to try and make a move," he said. "Although some of it was leftover adrenaline gone hinky. I think I might have been channeling Tony giving me grief after things go bad in the field." For no reason she could see, he winced.

"You two have been teammates for years, Timmy. No wonder he's rubbed off on you. Until you start quoting movies and he starts hacking government agencies, I wouldn't worry about it." She smiled, appreciating the break in the tension, but then forced herself to get serious again. "And after we got through saving everybody from the crazy drug cartel and Bossman from his past, I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I realized that even though we aren't together, losing you would rip my heart out, and if that's the main reason I was afraid of getting serious, then it was stupid of me to have pushed you away for the last five years because if my heart's getting ripped out if something happens to you when we're not together, then why am I trying to protect myself from getting hurt by not letting myself see if you want the same thing I do?"

She stopped and took a big sip of Caf-Pow. Timmy was just sitting there, looking at her with those wide green eyes that had hooked her heart from the first time they met. "Timmy?"

He sighed. "So that's what it was. I always wondered why you didn't want to get serious." He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed again. "Abs, why didn't you ever just tell me this? If I'd known..."

Suddenly uncertain, Abby bit her lower lip. "If you'd known what?" She felt a sinking in her stomach. "I ruined it, didn't I? You were just kidding in Mexico, and you really do just think of me like a little sister, and now it's going to be all weird and awkward, and it's my fault."

Tim got up and crouched next to her chair. "No, Abs. You didn't ruin it." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her like he had on Christmas Eve, sweet and gentle, the kiss of a friend. "Your timing was just a little..."

"Hinky?"

"Yeah, I guess," he said. "It's kind of complicated."

"This have anything to do with why you look as tired as you did when you were taking care of Gibbs while his shoulder was healing?"

She felt him nod against her shoulder.

"Is there somebody else?"

Again, she felt rather than saw his shrug. "I don't know, Abs. That's kind of what I was wrestling with when you asked me. And I'm not going to tell you about it."

"Conflict of interest," she said, her heart sinking a bit. "You can't have me contaminating the evidence."

His body shook as he laughed. "Yeah, something like that. Just... too many things going on at once."

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "Well whoever he or she is, if you start something with them, they'd better treat you right. No stealing your identity or trying to assassinate you or anything like that."

"I promise, Abs, that's not an issue," he said.

"And Tim? Don't go thinking you're not good enough for them, like you did with Jules. Anybody would be lucky to have you."

He pulled away and turned to face her. "Do you know what I've always loved about you, Abby?"

She shook her head.

"You always want what's best for your friends, even when you hate whatever it is. It's that huge heart of yours that I can't help but love." He sighed. "Listen, Gibbs will be looking for me soon. I promise I'll get back to you tomorrow about us. I just need... time."

Abby nodded, not sure she could speak. "I made you wait five years, Tim. I can wait a couple of days."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Abs."

As he left the lab, Abby stood and cranked her music up. Some pounding Android Lust would keep her from kicking herself while she waited to see if she'd made what had to be the dumbest mistake of her life — and with her track record, that made it pretty bad.


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: Another rule appears: Rule 8: Never take anything for granted. Thanks to Choosing_sarah for the beta!  
_

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**Chapter 4**

Tony walked into the bullpen bright and early that morning. He didn't know what the day would bring after his confession to Tim the day before, and he wanted to have his armor in place well before the probie walked in.

He forced himself to concentrate on the cold case Gibbs had assigned to him, losing himself in the familiar routine of checking and re-checking the facts, taking the pieces of the puzzle out and shaking them up to see if a fresh perspective would change the conclusions. He barely acknowledged Ziva when she walked in with the morning coffee run, didn't even notice when Tim showed up — just looked over at one point to see him sitting there.

McGeek looked like he'd barely slept, and Tony felt his hard-won detachment slipping away. He'd known even as he'd admitted his feelings to Tim yesterday that it was going to cause problems. Gibbs had Rule 12 for a reason, and this was why. Not for the first time, he mentally head-slapped himself for starting that online flirtation with Tim last year. At least before that he had been able to squash his feelings into the little box inside him where he stuck the messy, squishy thoughts that only led to bad things like almost getting blown up by rogue spooks.

And then after Tim and Abby returned from Mexico, Tim had admitted he fell in love with Tony, or rather, with Claire the previous year, and that had done something to the lock on that box, broken it so it wouldn't latch quite right, and now he couldn't keep everything from leaking out at the worst times. He couldn't keep himself from trying to get Tim to pay attention to him, and then when he did, too often it got to be too much and Tony had to get away before he did something stupid like try and kiss his partner. Only the craziness of the events leading up to the drug cartel takedown had kept Tony sane, and now that they had finished that, it was like Tim had one of those Alice in Wonderland tags on him that said "Eat Me" and Tony couldn't find it in him to resist.

When Ziva dug up a lead on her cold case, and Gibbs sent McGee with her to run it down, Tony let out a silent sound of relief. With any luck, they would be gone the rest of the afternoon.

"DiNozzo."

Tony looked up to see Gibbs sitting on the edge of his desk.

"Boss, you get sneakier every year."

"Wasn't even trying that time, Tony. You're just too deep in your head to notice me."

Tony just shrugged. "You know me, zoning out lets me focus on the case. Meditation, focus. That's the key to my investigative prowess."

Gibbs' lips quirked up slightly. "And keeps you from ogling other teammates?"

Tony jerked in surprise, smacking one knee against the underside of his desk. "Boss?"

"Calm down, DiNozzo. As long as it doesn't affect the team, I don't care what happens."

He paused for a second, giving Tony a chance to say "Nothing's happening. Nothing's going to happen."

"Ya think?" Gibbs actually smiled, and Tony put his hands on his desk to steady himself. "Rule 8."

"Boss? You know something I don't?"

Gibbs reached over and gently head-slapped him. "Know lots of things you don't, DiNozzo."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Fine. Do you know something about this specific situation that you seem to know about even though I haven't told you that makes you think I'm taking something for granted?"

When Gibbs just raised a single eyebrow and walked away, Tony let his head fall to the desk with a thump. When Gibbs didn't say anything more, Tony forced his attention back to the cold case. Sorting through financial records, looking for discrepancies kept his mind mostly occupied, right up until Tim came to sit on the edge of his desk.

"Hey, Tony. When Gibbs springs us, want to get dinner? I could bring pizza and beer over. We could watch a movie." He sat there, giving Tony the McEyebrow.

"Sure. We could do that," Tony said. He opened his mouth to ask Tim if this was supposed to be a date, but then realized the middle of the bullpen wasn't the best place to mention such things.

But McESP must have known what he was going to ask, because he shook his head slightly and leaned closer. "Just want to talk where nobody can hear us. Too long a discussion for the elevator," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Tony just nodded, then raised his voice. "So, McElflord, are we going to watch something other than Lord of the Rings this time?"

Tim rolled his eyes. "You'd prefer watching James Bond for the millionth time, I suppose?"

"If you two don't stop chatting, you won't get out of here in time to watch a movie."

"Yes, Boss," they replied in unison.

Tony wasn't exactly sure what he did after that. Next thing he knew, Tim was ringing his doorbell.

McHotness was wearing dark jeans and a fitted T-shirt that highlighted how much weight he'd lost, and Tony swallowed hard. Ever since Ziva had stayed in Israel, they had taken to hanging out in the evenings, pizza and a movie at Tony's place, or dinner out someplace, or taking Jethro to the park and then listening to music at Tim's place. But this was the first time they had gotten together since Tony admitted yesterday he'd fallen for Tim, and Tony didn't know what to expect.

"Relax, Tony," Tim said. He handed him a beer. "Come on, pizza first."

Tony just nodded and grabbed two plates from the cabinet. "So what's after pizza?" He pulled a couple of slices onto his plate. "Is that where you tell me I was out of line and you're asking for a transfer?"

When McGee reached over and head-slapped him, Tony almost dropped his pizza.

"Now I know why Gibbs is always doing that," McGee said. "You can be an idiot sometimes, Tony. If I wasn't interested, I'd have just let you drop it like you said you would yesterday."

"So you are interested?" Tony stepped closer to him.

Tim sighed and dropped his head. "Yes. No. I don't know."

"Well, that was helpful, McPrecision."

Tim took a step back. "Come on. Let's eat. It's... complicated."

Tony settled on the couch, sitting on one side so Tim wouldn't feel like he had to sit right next to him.

"So what's complicated about it? Other than Rule 12, the fact we're both guys who usually date women and I seduced you under false pretenses?" Tony took a big bite of pizza, as much to shut himself up as anything else.

Tim snorted. "Yeah, other than that." He shook his head. "Tony, you are truly incorrigible sometimes." His face sobered. "No, actually I wanted to know why you want to go out. What changed?"

Tony put his plate down as his stomach filled with butterflies big enough to be bats. "I changed, Tim. I've been curious about you for years, but you're McSteady. You're the kind of guy who actually looks forward to a house and family and everything that goes with it, and I'm... not. Even if Gibbs hadn't had Rule 12, it wouldn't have been worth it to start something that had no way of working out. And then..." He let his voice trail off, thinking back.

"Jeanne?" Tim asked.

Tony just nodded. "That obvious, huh? Yeah, the frat boy getting forced into a long-term, serious relationship and actually liking it." He searched for the words to explain it. "I never really saw that as a kid. You've met my dad. He's been married more times than I can count. That's pretty common in the circle I grew up in. Rich men, trophy wives, illicit affairs — that's the world I come from. Even Gibbs, who's as close to a dad as I have, since my father couldn't even be bothered to come when I had the plague, has been divorced three times."

"And then the director put you in a position where you had no choice," Tim said.

Tony nodded again. "I had to do all those things that terrified me before, and make them work because if I didn't, I'd screw up the op. I used to run whenever I got close to something like that and that time I couldn't. Turns out the good parts make up for the frightening parts."

"So you found out a real relationship wasn't all bad?" Tim sipped his beer.

Tony just nodded. "But I didn't have any reason to think you liked guys, and you know the Boss and Rule 12."

Tim nodded. "You know, he gave me permission to break Rule 12."

"With Abby? No surprise there. She has both of you wrapped around her little finger." Tony shook his head. "Me too, actually. Even Vance has a soft spot for her — she and Gibbs are the only ones who can call him Leon and get away with it."

Tim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, the OSP team couldn't believe it when she was out there earlier this year. Eric e-mailed me and asked about it — he's another one she's got wrapped around her little finger." He paused. "Gibbs didn't just say I could break Rule 12 with Abby. He's OK if I break it with you."

Tony was glad he wasn't holding anything, because his whole body seemed to go numb at that. "That's what he... Gibbs knows?"

"Yes. No. Sort of."

"Again with the precision, McIndecisive. Please tell me you did not out me to Gibbs just to turn around and reject me." He rubbed a hand over his face.

"No! Tony, he knew. I went over to ask him for advice. Yesterday I already wasn't sure what to do about what you said and then Abby asked me if we could try dating again, and I was caught in this whole maze of Gibbs' rules and reality and went over to his place. I mentioned Rule 12 and Rule 15 and the first thing he said was your name and Abby's name." Tim stood and started pacing. "I'm beginning to think Abby's right, and he really is psychic."

"Wait. Hold on. Abby asked you back?" Tony closed his eyes. "Why are we even having this discussion? What aren't you and Abby out right now?"

"Tony."

He looked up to see Tim had stopped pacing and was watching him. "Why do you assume I'm going to pick Abby?"

"Where do I start? You two share a brain. You're the only normal guy she's ever dated, and she's finally come to her senses and realized that. You two fit so well it's scary sometimes. You'll have little Goth-geeklet babies who find a cure for cancer before they turn 18." Tony sighed. "We can't handle more than an hour together without bickering, I'm nobody's idea of a prize boyfriend, and in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly in a position to give your genius kids my stunning good looks." He picked up his beer and drained the bottle. "So why shouldn't I assume you'd pick Abby?"

"Because I fell in love with you," Tim replied. "I love you, and I love Abby, and I never thought either one of you would want to be serious and settle down, and now you're both telling me you do, and I don't know what to do." He raked a hand though his hair so it stuck up in spikes on top of his head.

Tony took a deep breath and tried to find that zone he used when working a case. "Chill, Tim. Come on, sit down. Let's talk about it." He thought about what Tim had said, thought of everything he knew about his partner and about his honorary baby sister. "Look, I have to say, I don't know if either of us is the best choice for you long-term. We know my commitment issues, and my daddy issues and my trust issues and my..."

"Yeah, I get it Tony. Your family completely messed with your head. Gibbs screwed with it when he up and left. The director messed with it more when she sent you undercover, and Vance put the cherry on top of your issues sundae when he sent you agent afloating." Tim reached over and rubbed his shoulder, and Tony had to fight off a shiver. "I get it. And this is going to make me sound really screwed up, but part of me likes that. I like to be needed. I don't want to date somebody who acts like a kudzu plant, but I'm just traditional enough to need to date somebody who needs me."

"And Abby doesn't need you," Tony said. "She wants you, but I think the only person she needs in her life is Gibbs, and we all need him."

"Something like that," Tim said.

"So Abby doesn't need you, and I probably need you too much." Tony stood up. "I think I need more pizza and beer for this."

As he got both items from the kitchen, he used the break to think about what he was going to say. He wanted Tim, but he wanted their crazy NCIS family intact more than he wanted Tim, and he could only think of one possible solution — and Tim was going to think he was insane for suggesting it. With that in mind, he grabbed a second beer for Tim.

Tim had settled back on the couch and was finishing off his last bit of pizza.

"OK, Tim. You're stuck, and you're stuck between me and Abby. Which, let's face it, could be a nice place to be if it were, say, in bed but right now probably feels like you'd be better off if you were the only person standing between Gibbs and Eli David." He held up a hand as Tim started to speak. "I get it. I have a suggestion, and I'm going to be blunt. I don't think Abby can give you what you need long-term, and I'm not sure you can give her what she needs. But I don't think I can either, and the last thing I want is for us to start something and then you realize you really wanted to pick Abby. I mean, I get it. I'm the new flavor. You know what you're getting with her, and it's easy to think that something new could be better. So I think you should pick her."

"What?" Tim's mouth dropped open.

"Pick Abby. If you guys work, make me best man at the wedding and godfather to the first McBaby. If it doesn't work out, I'll still be here. It's not like my luck with women is liable to make a sudden improvement after this two-year drought."

Tim frowned.

"I can hear your gears McWhirring in that big brain of yours, Tim." Tony forced himself to keep his tone light.

"Yeah, yeah," Tim said. "So you'd rather let Abby take her best shot and see if it works and then be there if it doesn't than try and make the game-winning play yourself?" He paused. "You know, I really don't get how your mind works sometimes."

"And that is why I am the Jedi master, and you work with computers," Tony said. "Look, go home, think about this. Figure out what you want. And seriously think about what I said. It will not bother me if you pick Abby." He knew he was lying through his teeth, but he also knew he would rather have Tim pick Abby then start something with Tony and realize in six months that he should have picked Abby. He could handle being Uncle Tony. Really. He could. He couldn't handle being Tim's ex and still work with him and Abby, and the team was too much a family for him to want to screw things up.

Tim hesitated, and Tony hoped he wouldn't push the issue. Finally Tim nodded. "OK, Tony. But only if you promise me that if I pick you, you believe that I'm not going to regret turning Abby down. Because whatever choice I make, I'll make it because I believe it's the right one."

Tony opened his mouth to agree, but couldn't force the words out. Instead, he said, "Go home, McGee. Get some sleep. If this keeps you up all night, Gibbs will be after all three of us."

Tim opened his mouth, then closed it again. Finally he said, "Good night, Tony," and leaned over to brush a brief kiss against Tony's lips. Before Tony could figure out what to say, McGee was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Thanks to Choosing_sarah for betaing - her suggestions made this much, much better. _

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**Chapter 5**

When Tim left Tony's, it was still fairly early. He drove around for a while and tried to fit together everything he'd heard and everything he knew about Tony and Abby. They both had made good points, and if only one of them had wanted him, he'd definitely have said yes. It was just his luck to be in the awkward decision of having to decide which one of his friends to accept. He let out a long breath and pointed his car toward southeast D.C.

For the second time in two days, Tim found himself sitting on Gibbs' basement steps.

"Made a decision yet?" Gibbs said. He stood at the workbench fiddling with something. Tim didn't know what it was, and he couldn't bring himself to pay much attention to it.

"Maybe," Tim said. He sighed. "I talked to Abby and Tony today."

"Figure anything out?"

"Abby said everything I needed to hear," he said, thinking back. "She's changed, grown up. She's not the same person she was seven years ago, and she knows I'm not the same person either."

When Gibbs didn't say anything, he kept going. "I never think of Abby as being afraid of anything. She's the most open person I know. The rest of us, we close ourselves off from the things we fear." He thought back. "When you were in the coma, before you left, Abby slapped Ziva because she thought Ziva didn't care about you."

"Abby slapped Ziva?" Gibbs said, looking up. "How come nobody told me about this?"

Tim shrugged. "By the time you came back, I think we'd all forgotten. Ziva slapped her back right away. I was glad I was standing on the other side of the desk, because getting in between those two is not something I ever want to do. And by the time you were back, we knew Ziva cared. If you didn't think she cared, you wouldn't have come back to save her."

"I don't leave my people behind," Gibbs said, then hesitated, reconsidering. "I did at first, but I couldn't stay away. We'd been through too much together."

"It wasn't the same when you were gone. We all lost something when you left, Tony more than most. You know his issues, Boss. You up and leaving the way you did left a big, gaping hole in him that the director drove a truck through."

"Jeanne."

Tim nodded, glad that Gibbs got it. "Tony runs when he's afraid, and he couldn't do that. He knew he couldn't leave the team, not after you'd moved to Mexico. He said the op meant he couldn't run from all the terrifying parts of relationships when he was with Jeanne. He learned a lot from both experiences, and I think even he'd admit it made him a better person, but he's still afraid people are going to leave him."

Gibbs leaned against the workbench facing Tim. "Can't blame him. He's been abandoned too many times. Should have told him the truth about Israel long before I did. She didn't desert him. Me. Us. I left her, and I'd do it again rather than leave Tony behind. He can't handle being abandoned again."

"No, he can't." Tim sat up a bit and rolled his shoulders back, feeling some weight disappear from them. "That's what Abby's afraid of too, but she goes the complete opposite direction. I never realized how much fear of losing us out in the field drives her. She was there for me after my friend Jim died when the terrorists blew up Cassidy's team. She wouldn't let me think about the possibility that it should have been us that day."

"Could be us any damn day of the week. You know that." Gibbs dumped nails out of a jar and reached for the bottle of bourbon he kept on the workbench. He dumped out a second jar and motioned toward Tim, who shook his head.

"I know. Abs, though, she usually manages to not think about it until one of us gets hurt." Tim paused to gather his thoughts. "She takes that big heart and opens it up for everyone to share. For her, it's just that simple. She thinks if she loves and cares enough about all of us, it will keep us safe. If she refuses to accept the possibility that we might die, we won't." He stood and started pacing around the basement. "She can't do things halfway. Before that day you got blown up, she didn't really like Ziva. Didn't trust her. All she saw was somebody who let Kate get shot. Somehow, in the middle of all the slapping, she realized Ziva isn't like her. Abby expresses her emotions at full blast, puts all her energy into living for today. Ziva shuts down her emotions. Well, not anymore. But back then she did."

"Left that part of her in the desert," Gibbs said. "She had to, to survive."

Tim nodded. "And I think Abby realized in the Mexican desert that she can't just live for today. She said she realized that not getting serious with me because she was afraid it would hurt too much if something happened to me was wrong, because she would feel the pain just as much if we weren't together than if we were." He walked to the workbench and leaned against the other section, hands pressed into the scarred wood top. "Abby always used to be afraid of losing me, but she's realized that's a bad reason to avoid a relationship. Tony is afraid I'll walk away from him, either because I can't handle his issues or because I'll decide I regret picking him over Abby."

Gibbs drained the last of his glass. "You remember what I told you last night? Make the decision that's right for you. You can't live your life trying to meet other people's standards."

Tim snorted. "Boss, I spend every day trying to meet your standards. We all do. You'd kick our ass if we ever stopped."

"True."

When Gibbs didn't say anything else, Tim decided to ask for one last piece of advice. "Boss, what would you do if you thought the decision that was right for you was the wrong one for both of the other two?"

Gibbs quirked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

Tim held firm, not wanting to give Gibbs an idea of what he was thinking.

Finally, Gibbs said, "I think if the decision isn't the right one for both people in a relationship, it won't work." He paused. "If I'd figured that out 18 years ago, I wouldn't have three ex-wives."

Tim nodded. "That's kind of what I thought you'd say." He straightened up and turned to face Gibbs. "Do you want to know what I decided?"

Gibbs shook his head. "I told you last night, Tim, I trust you. From what you've said, you're thinking about all the right things in your choice, and you might understand Abby and Tony better than anybody else right now."

"Thanks, Boss. That means a lot to me." Tim turned to leave.

"Hey, Elflord."

Tim turned back.

"Good luck. If the one you pick doesn't appreciate who they're getting, they're going to answer to me."

Tim's smile lasted all the way home. As he settled in bed, he realized he had made the only decision he could make, and if he'd judged things right, it would work for all of them.

The next day, he woke feeling refreshed even though it was an hour earlier than he normally got up. He needed to catch one of his co-workers before the day started to share his decision.

He was out the door within a half-hour and picked up two drinks on the way to his co-worker's house.

He carefully shifted the tray to one hand and knocked on the apartment door.

"McGoo? What brings you here this early?" Tony cracked his neck and blinked his eyes a couple of times. "Oh. You made your decision." No doubt in his voice. Tim wondered if Gibbs' psychic powers actually had rubbed off on him. "Come on in."

Tim followed him inside, handed him a coffee and sat on the armchair as he sipped his own. "I did. I don't know if it's the right one, but when I sat down and thought things through, it seemed like the one that made the most sense." He chewed his lower lip, then decided fast was best. "Your offer? To wait while I decided to see if things would work with Abby? I'm going to take you up on it."

He saw the wince on Tony's face before the senior field agent managed to paste on a smile, and hurried to explain. "You had a really good point. I don't know if Abs and I can make things work a second time, but I also don't want you worrying that I'm going to decide I made the wrong choice by picking you." He sighed. "I don't know which one of you is the right choice."

Tony snorted. "Don't ask me. I think I'm a lousy choice for a long-term relationship, and you know my doubts about Abby's potential for long-term."

"I know." He sighed again. "You made some good points. One of your points is actually what decided it for me."

"Which one?"

"When you said you'd rather I picked Abby because you didn't want me to regret my choice in six months or a year." Tim rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "I don't think I would regret anything if I picked you. I know you, and I know what you're like. I also know that if anything does drive us apart, it would be us fighting about whether you're good enough for me. You are, and I'll sic Gibbs on anybody who tries to say differently. But if you don't believe it, there's not anything I can say that will make a difference. If Gibbs was able to find the right way to undo all the damage your dad did to your self-worth, he would have done it long before now." He dropped his head back on the top of the seat cushion. "I'll give Abby another chance. If you're right, I'll take you up on your offer to be best man. If I'm right, it'll be worth the six months or a year delay if it puts this thing to rest."

Tony just looked at him.

"Tony?"

"I take it back. What I said last night, about me being the Jedi master. I take it back. Because I would never have thought of this as a solution, and I thought last night that if you picked Abby I would just suck it up, but hearing you say you're picking Abby because you think I'm the right choice and you want me to see that somehow I am the right choice even as warped as I am should be absolutely wrong, and it's somehow completely right, and I don't even know how this works, but it's working for me." He sank down on the couch, and Tim could see all the tension ease out of his shoulders.

Tim couldn't help laughing. "Tony, this is your solution. You did think of it. And that is why this works. Because the sane, rational approach to the world has no place in our team, especially when we're talking about you and Abby." He sobered. "I'm glad you understand. I wanted to tell you first, make sure you were OK with my solution."

"I can live with that," Tony said. He walked over and sat on the arm of Tim's chair. "You do, of course, know that I will be tormenting you about your mistress of the dark." The words were Tony, but the tone was a bit overly bright.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Tim said. He reached up to put a hand on Tony's shoulder. "You're still the Jedi master, Tony. I'm pretty sure It's going to be Aunt Abby getting the kids all wound up with horror stories while we're on a night out rather than Uncle Tony feeding them sugar while they stay up late watching movies while Abby and I have a night out."

He stood and kept his hand on Tony's shoulder. "Just promise me that if it's getting to be too much for you while I'm seeing how things work with Abby that you let me know, or let Gibbs know."

"I will, Tim," Tony said. "Now, go, get to work. Give Abby a chance to do all her bouncing before I get in." He stood too quickly for Tim to take a step back and gave him a brief kiss. "I've been watching you with other women for years, I can handle a few more months." He paused. "Does Abby know?"

Tim shook his head, and stayed in that too-close space. "She knows somebody asked me out before she did and that's why I didn't say yes right away, but I didn't tell her who, or even that it was a guy."

"Thanks. I can handle Gibbs knowing, but Abby's just going to get all weird."

Tim nodded and stepped back. "I know. Want me to tell Gibbs you might be a bit late today? You could work on your cold case from here for a while, give her a chance to finish her initial bounciness."

Tony shook his head. "I'm good. Just make sure there's plenty of paper and rubber bands at my desk." An evil grin flashed across his face, and Tim knew he needed to keep Abby as calm as possible to keep the torment to a minimum.

When Tim got to the Navy Yard, Gibbs was the only one in the bullpen. Tim briefly filled him in as he was placing more paper and rubber bands on Tony's desk. Gibbs just nodded and reminded him the acetone was in the same drawer as his SIG if Tony resorted to Superglue the way he had after Jeanne found out the senior agent was undercover.

Tim headed down to the lab and hoped it didn't come to that. He liked all his skin on his body.

Abby was already in the lab, her music blaring. Tim snuck up behind her and slid his arms around her waist.

"Timmy!" She turned and smiled at him. "Does mean yes?"

He couldn't help smiling back. "You busy tomorrow night?"

She shook her head. "Not unless we catch a case," she said. Pausing, she tipped her head and looked at him, those big green eyes so like his own. "You decided not to go for things with the other person?"

He shook his head. "Want to sort things out with you first, Abs. I'm not sure we're going to work long-term, but I want to see."

The corners of her mouth drooped for a second, but then she smiled again and hugged him close. "Thanks, Tim." As she snuggled into his shoulder, he heard her whisper, "I hope I don't screw up this chance."

* * *

_**AN: **A bunch of you know I didn't know who Tim was going to choose until fairly late in the story, and I will be the first to admit this is an odd ending. It felt like the one that was most true to the characters given the particular situation, and I hope even those who don't agree with Tim's decision can understand and respect his reasoning. And for the rest of you, feel free to start hurling rotten tomatoes. :) Seriously, though, this was a tough story to write because I like both pairings and I think both work, which meant this never had a clear-cut right/wrong answer f_or _me. I just tried to tell their story as honestly as possible. I hope I succeeded. _


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